When you read up on pregnancy in all the dad books (even the really terrible “A’wight mate, you’re having a little sprog too yer know, cor blimey let’s all have a beer” ones) there’s a section on helping your partner through their mood swings. ‘Oh yeah’ you think. ‘We’ve both got our heads screwed on. We’re pragmatic. We know there’s things to think about but we’ll keep it in perspective’. Why I thought this I don’t know – I used to lie awake at night stressing about schoolwork, late library books, remembering my PE kit, being late for assembly…all sorts.
I thought I’d left that all behind twenty years in the past. ‘I’m chilled out now.’ Oh how wrong I was. Never mind the rational insecurities of becoming a parent (which I’ll be boring you with in future posts I’m sure) it’s the irrationals that are getting to us now. The 1 in 1 million chances, the neuroses, the paranoia, the festering thoughts.
And the weird thing is, the last person you want to tell is you other half. Because you’re being stupid. And you don’t want to make hem think of the stupid, unlikely scenario you’re playing out in your head. It would only worry them and make them think of it too. So why do that to them?
Except of course, they’re thinking it too. And how do you find out? When you’re both tired and snappy and can’t communicate quite right. Of course you’re both panicked about how life’s going to change. That doesn’t mean you’re not excited – it means you’re human. It means you’re having a very natural reaction. And it means you need to stick together…and talk.