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Here’s a scary thing I found out today. After some extensive research (one branch of the Co-op) we’ve found an account to set up and keep paying in to for the bean. Good…for once we’re actually planning financially, taking this sort of thing seriously, acting like adults. Pretty good going. So there I was in my new found pride at reaching this levle of money mangement at the ripe old age of thirty two and a half when what should I spy but…

Yes, that’s right. An account that passes in to the management of a seven year old. So they can manage their finances on the Internet or using telephone banking. So they’ll outshine me in they’re financial dealings by the time they’re eight. A bit like this…

So the due date has been & gone with no sign of action. To be honest, this is far easier for me. I got my first taste of what this actually means this weekend when I too joined The Wait.

For those of you unfamiliar with The Wait…this is the point you reach when you’ve psychologically built up to a certain key date (let’s say, oooh I don’t know, the birth of a child, but it could – sort of – apply to any circumstance, like waiting to get the contract for that new job before handing in your notice etc) & when that date arrives, it doesn’t do it with a bang or a whimper. It does it with silence. Stony silence. The sort of silence that makes you really mad and guilty and inadequate all at the same time. The sort of silence that descended if you’d done something really naughty and were just about to get the “You’ve not just let me down…etc” speech from the parents. The sort of silence that (probably) would greet your three year old child deciding to do a poo in the middle of grandma’s newly carpeted front room. Or something a bit like it anyway.

So here we are on day one of The Wait, waking up a week overdue. Now the thing with The Wait is, you can’t really do anything because something could happen at any time (it doesn’t) and you could need ot dash off to the hospital (you won’t) and going too far away means you won’t make it back in time (yeah right).

So on day one of the wait you get up, not in any rush because once you’re up this is likely to start the unsolicited calls from the fellow Waitees. Now the fellow Waitees are a funny bunch. They won’t (in the main) ring up & say “have you not had it yet then? Can you get on with it? I’m a bit bored of waiting now” though you secretly hope they share this guilty little emotion with you. More likely they’ll say “just thought I’d see how you were doing” or “any news?” or “nothing happening yet then?”. But you know they all really mean “have you not had it yet then? Can you get on with it? I’m a bit bored of waiting now”. And quite right too. We’ve all been waiting nine months here. Can’t you ever be on time for anything? Well why isn’t it down to you? (Small tip here, these are better NOT said to your partner in all this…it might upset them a bit).

So morning of day one of The Wait is basically receptionist. Then we move to lunch time. Shall we go out? Yes, let’s. Where? Hmm. Not sure. Don’t want to go too far (see reasons above). Ok, how about here? No? Ok. How about there? No, I don’t either really. Hmmm? Oh, just thinking about something else…[note to self, don't say it's the baby, let's try & think about something else...we'll have nothing else for a while soon...let's enjoy this while we can...wonder how I fit that car seat?].

We’re now well in to the afternoon. And a wander round the shops seems the best entertainment. Go and take a look at some baby clothes shops. That’ll be nice. And a little look at baby books. Yeah, why not. And now some food shopping. And htere’s the afternoon gone. Now back home for a quick nap, then not much appetite for tea so a bit of telly and off to bed knackered.

Sunday – same again please.

Now this is fine for two days but when maternity leave has begun it’s ad infinitum. You’re no longer mobile enough to actually do stuff & everyone advises you to rest up. And you get worn out taking the stairs. Plus no matter whether you fight it or not, 4pm is nap time. And then when someone gets in they ask if anything’s changed, or how you are but you know they actually mean “have you not had it yet then? Can you get on with it? I’m a bit bored of waiting now”.