So that was antenatal classes. Billed as four two hour sessions it ended up being more like five to five and a half hours total. And that’s it. We’re now fully trained and all ready to go!!
To be fair, a lot of useful information was shared with us and in the main the midwives were great. We also found some very near neighbours who are due round the same time so new friendships are forming too.
The sessions were divided into pre-admission, labour & pain relief and (the best bit by far) post-natal and bringing baby home. The fourth session was a breastfeeding workshop with the rather odd arrangement of plastic model boobs to look at & baby dolls to practice with…
Highlights – nappies filled with english mustard & black treacle to demonstrate what nappy contents look like, blowing bubbles to practice regular breathing & wiggling our hips to Flo Rida (I kid you not) to demonstrate useful pain relief techniques at home. Also a really weird Swedish (natch) video filming a newborn as it was left to find its own way to its mothers breast to feed. Strange but amazing all at the same time. It also came with the weirdest matter-of-fact voiceover I’ve ever heard. You’ve not lived until you’ve heard the phrase “this is the first and only time the baby will show an interest in the right breast”.
Lows…certainly the reasonably regular mentions of some of the possible after-effects of birth were possibly overdone…never seen so many blood drained faces and can barely bring myself to type the word ‘tearing’ even now. Also week one and the chap who first belched loudly, then yawned through the rest of it…no wonder dads get a bad name. A potential, but in our case skipped, low – the video of a birth. Our view? We’ll see it live in the not too distant future, and a live event is never quite as good on TV is it? Although most did stick around and watch it we were more than happy to retire gracefully that evening.
So that’s the training done with. Whether or not we remember it, I don’t know. Whether we could have read up on it all, maybe. But having someone to talk to about it all and ask daft questions to was great. Plus the reassurance that other people do it and get it right. Let’s hope so!